Top 25 Struggles of Being in Puerto Rico Right Now…

Top 25 struggles of Living in Puerto Rico right now:

  1. Waking up to a massive cockroach on your face in the middle of the night.
  2. Not being able to sleep because you’re living in Satan’s Lair burning up. Waking up drenched and having to shower in the middle of the night to cool off.
  3. Having to choose between wearing clothes and dying of heat or sleeping in your swim suit and having the bugs eat you alive.
  4. Having to take 4 showers a day.
  5. Not remembering what it felt like to wear clothes and not be sweaty.
  6. Cuddling up with frozen gallons of water or shoving frozen bottles down your pants/bra while you sleep because of the heat.
  7. Finding maggots in the sponges you use to wash dishes. …Finding them after you found them on your shirt while reading a book.
  8. Walking miles to get to a large hill so you can hike it for cell service. Standing with your arm extended the whole time asking “Can you hear me now?”
  9. Driving 30 minutes in to downtown San Juan to sit outside a hotel for free internet. Getting kicked out of a few hotel parking lots because it’s “private property” and apparently you can’t sit on the curb of the Hyatt Hotel to use their internet.
  10. Going to the only open restaurant downtown to eat a real meal but having to ask to be seated by an outlet so you could plug all your devices in….. because you’re super classy like that.
  11. Sitting in a line miles long for 4 hours to get fuel and then not being able to get it.
  12. Sitting in line to get into a grocery store to buy food.
  13. Eating rice and beans like it’s your job. Carbs going straight to the booty. As if I wasn’t thick enough already.
  14. Flipping the light switch every time you walk into a room only to be reminded power doesn’t exist in this troubled land.
  15. The sound of a generator sputtering to death. Your heart and soul dropping with it.
  16. Having to sleep in the same bed as your roomie because you can only use one A/C machine to save fuel for the generator.
  17. Staring at the ceiling once the generators dies, feeling the ungodly heat rushing in.
  18. Your neighbor telling you he’s getting fuel for the generator but not getting it.
  19. Exercising in the ungodly heat with no reassurance of cooling down after.
  20. Being a ginger and frying this Puerto Rican sun.
  21. Trying to keep up with my MBA program while being cut off from the entire outside world and internet.
  22. Only being able to check your phone one time a day. Either from the top of the hill, if it’s not “Wi-Fi Day”, or from sitting on the curb outside a hotel stealing internet.
  23. My mom emailing the local Iowa TV station to be interviewed about my current situation. #DoingTheMost Haha
  24. Legs looking diseased because of all the bug bites you have. Lying awake scratching them at night.
  25. Trying to find a flight out of Puerto Rico when your flight keeps getting cancelled. Attempting to make it anywhere but here.

Top 8 things that are a faint memory to us:

  • What it feels like to Netflix and Chill.
  • The feeling of A/C on our face.
  • Wearing clothes and not sweating through them in 5 minutes.
  • The actual use of a light switch and this thing called “Electricity.”
  • The use of that thing called a cell phone and that it once connected you to the outside world. Completely useless in this troubled land.
  • Clothes that actually feel clean.
  • Actually feeling clean.
  • Chipotle
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