Last post was about knowing your worth. In this one, ask yourself, “What kind of love are you looking for?”
I’m one of those suckers that truly believe in love. I’m one of those suckers who love hard and don’t know how to love any other way. I’m one of those suckers who believe that there’s a perfect person out there for me, who makes me feel at home. That God created the right kind of person for me to meet, at the right time in my life for them fit perfectly into the messy person I’ve been “Shaped, Maked, Breaked” into time and time again. A man I can trust with my insecurities and broken edges. Who won’t do me more harm than we as girls already do to ourselves. Someone who makes me feel sexy and like the boss-ass woman I am today. Who lets me know they adore me. I believe love should be two independent people, able to stand on our own, who truly make each other better people. Who make each other into an even better whole. I believe in the type of love that lasts and vibrates within your bones. I may be naïve but I’d rather spend my life waiting for someone who makes me wonder how could someone so perfectly imperfect exist? Someone I could just look at all night and appreciate them for the person they are and who they’ve had to fight to become. Someone who makes me want to add to their life. A person, I absolutely adore and love in their rawest form when all the walls have been broken down.
Also, I believe no woman should be completely reliant on a man. Every relationship is different but there’s nothing more empowering and attractive than a woman who is her own person with a partner she CHOOSES to stand with. Being with someone who CHOOSES her to stand with them, as well. Two people who chose each other at the end of the day and didn’t simply settle for each other because it’s something that was just comfortable or easy. As a woman, I don’t think you should ever allow yourself to be baggage to a man’s life. I say man because that’s just my life situation but warp it to your own life in whatever way. After a while that just gets exhausting. People trying to care for themselves while carrying you along the way? Life’s hard enough, let alone with someone you have to drag up that ladder with you.
Be the woman others look up to and admire. Be that powerhouse of an independent woman to show all those young girls out there that their world and their life doesn’t revolve around finding a certain someone to complete them. That that person isn’t WHO you are, but they help shape you into the best version of yourself. They should be able to see you for the masterpiece that you are, as well as your potential for who you could be. Young girls should know that they were born amazing, complete, and their entire worth doesn’t come from the person they allow to stand beside them.
Most men I’ve spoken with don’t truly want a woman who is completely reliant on them. They don’t want someone who’s going to weigh them down on their journey to be successful and claw after their dreams. They want a woman who will help mold them into the man they need to be! Carry your load and EARN your keep! BUT let’s not act like and think that there aren’t men out there who are lazy pieces, riding on the drive and success of the woman who keeps them around. That door swings both ways people. I’ve said before that a good relationship should be two people running at the same pace, on the same wavelength, adding to each other’s life, making it better. ADDING value to an already priceless piece.
I want to look at my man and smile, thinking “Damn, I really enjoy doing life with you.” I want to be able to tell him how he makes me a better person. How he brought light to those dark places inside me that hadn’t been viewed by anyone else for a very long time. I want to tell him how he inspires me to live more vibrantly and motivates me to strive after my dreams. I don’t want to be with him out of comfort or because I want someone to hold me or give me attention from time to time. I don’t want to be with someone just because I’m tired of waiting for the “right someone”. I don’t plan on stuffing another person into that “theoretical” coffin of loneliness with me pretending there is room for the empty “I love you’s”. I’d rather be alone. I’d rather be the badass I know I can be. I’d rather be an inspiration to those women out there who cry behind closed doors, brewing in their insecurities and feelings, unwillingly playing the games of the person toying with their mind, painting that smile on as they walk out the door.
I’m not saying that love is easy. I’m not saying that it’s always sunshine and rainbows, but at the end of the day, actually no, every damn day, all day, it’s a balance system. If someone wakes up with only 10% love to give, the other has to make up for the other 90%. You should always have to strive to have that 100% kind of love. It’s WORK. It’s hard. It damn well wasn’t easy to find, so why should we expect it to be easy to keep? People have their ups and downs but they found each other so they don’t have to walk through life alone. They found each other because sometimes, it’s nice not to carry all that weight alone. Sometimes it’s a relief to look into the eyes of someone who truly cares about you and for them to say, “Don’t worry I got this. WE got this.”
I believe in true love. The kind of love that vibrates deep within your bones. I’m not looking for a half-assed love, for a half-assed marriage, with a half-assed effort kind of man. I don’t know about you, but I’m just not aiming to live a half-assed kind of life. I’ll wait for someone I get to live fully with. Someone I can look at smiling, thinking, “I really love doing life with you.” I want to look to God one day and say: “Thank you for sending me the man I prayed so long and hard for. He was well worth the wait.”