Sometimes life hits you hard. Then it hits you again, but maybe not exactly a quick jab. Maybe the next swing is like a punishment drug out. Because you refused to let go of something not good for you. Like water skiing when you’re holding on to the rope too long after you’ve already lost control. Swallowing water and getting drug around, a hurt of your own doing. And then you come up for air, but you’re trying to catch your breath, trying to recover. Finding yourself in the middle of the crash zone. That place where all the waves break coming to shore. A short lived moment of safety, only to find yourself taken out by another massive wave crashing down. Held under and having to hold your breath just a little too long. The waves crashing down as you struggle to get back to calm waters. Somewhere in the middle of it all you lost your breath struggling to stay afloat…
Sometimes life happens to us like that and we find ourselves holding our breath; bracing ourselves for another impact. And we’ve had to hold our breath for so long, we forget to let ourselves breath. They say good things come in threes, but I kind of believe bad things do too. Lol A few things happened in the last 7 months that I think in a way knocked the wind out of me. Had me holding my breath waiting for what was next. Starting with surviving in Puerto Rico after two CAT 5 hurricanes destroyed the island, to some personal things that were drug out too long, and then a pretty miserable experience in Lebanon that had me stressfully getting 3 hours of sleep each night. Not because I was unsafe, but because my intuition was screaming at me that I wasn’t in a good situation. I was in that “crash zone” and Sweden turned out to be those calm waters I was trying to reach.
I write this because I found myself smiling for no reason again and laughing at little things that brought me more joy than they probably should. From walking home after having dinner with my adopted Swedish grandparents, to leaving my church and friends there in Stockholm on Sunday. To walking to our gym looking up at the sky, watching the thick snowflakes fall down. In the middle of taking one of those really good, deep, fill your lungs to the brim breaths, I realized just how long I’d been holding my breath. Not realizing it or what I’d been bracing myself for. But, I was finally letting myself BREATHE!
I think sometimes life hits us hard and seems to keep coming back for more. We sit there waiting for that storm to be over. For the next wave to hit. Often times, forgetting to breath. Living life on the defense instead of taking offense. Sometimes it’s from shock and we take a little extra time to assess the damage done and collect ourselves. But LET yourself breathe again. Let yourself take the freshest breath of air you’ve ever taken and savor it slowly. Get back up. Take control of your life. Control the controllable. Appreciate the little things. Take a moment to see clearly and to take a closer look at the beauty surrounding you. All the beauty that was there the entire time, but was drowned out by all the noise. It’s in that calm after the storm where you start to hear birds chirping again. It’s simply where things restart … or continue going… whatever you choose to see it as.
This blog is the product of just another moment where I’m reminded that it takes your silence to appreciate the sound of your own, genuine laughter over something so simple. It takes darkness to appreciate the light. Being alone to appreciate the company of good people. It takes all those forced, fake smiles to FEEL the fullness of the real ones. It takes losing your breath to realize just how often you took the simple act of breathing for granted. All of that, just to be reminded over and over that your life is fuller than you realize.
Just a little reminder to take a look around and notice. Take a look around and let yourself breathe. Xx