Rehab Journey – Gotta Have My Pops

Faith, Family, Basketball… In that Order…

My Swedish adventure is over. First stop back to the states was Gainesville, FL to finish up my 4^th term of my MBA program through UF. Second stop, home. Third stop coming up, Australia. When I began this basketball journey I gave myself 3 years. I never thought I’d still be playing, but hey, you love what you love. Though it is a love-hate relationship. Throughout it all I’ve had my ups and downs with all my knee operations, natural disasters, mental trials, living alone in a different country, time away from my family, etc. etc. I love being good at this game I love, but in my time chasing… wait I think I can say living this dream by now; my relationship with it has changed in 3 pretty important ways:

First way it’s changed is my perspective and respect for it. As many of you already have come to realize, as you grow up you learn to value your time with your loved ones more than before. Nowadays I can say I miss my time spent with my family more now than ever. That could also be because I have a few, pretty darn cute, entertaining nephews and a little princess beast of a niece who I feel like I’m missing out on while they grow up. I guess you could say I miss their parents/grandparents too from time to time, but mainly those lil beastlings. Haha jk But seriously, when you’re young, exploring the world, and trying to establish your independence, you place less importance on your time spent with your family. As you get older you realize all the love and valuable time you’re missing out on with every second spend away from them. Priorities change, as you grow. Don’t get me wrong, I do still love basketball, but I do also question when I will give it up to enjoy those little ones before it’s too late and they’re all grown up. Before I look back wishing I was around more.
Second way it’s changed is my approach towards it is different. My mentality has gone from that stubborn minded, bull headed, play through any/all pain athlete to a more smart-minded, big picture viewing professional. I pay attention to how much I push my body and when it’s telling me I need rest. I’ve had to learn to stand my ground with coaches when they want me to practice or play but my body is telling me no. It’s like pushing a car to drive with no oil. You do more damage than you realize, no matter how badly you want it to work. Your body needs maintenance too. What most people don’t realize is that basketball at this level is a business. Coaches and clubs try to get everything they can out of us. That’s their job as the employer but they will try to squeeze what they can out of you. They paid for a player and they expect to get their money’s worth, but like any piece of machinery, we can break down unexpectedly. We have to learn to walk that fine line between being an athlete wanting to earn our keep, wanting to play, and realizing that our body is our only tool for the career we’ve chosen. Once it’s broken or all used up it’s done. We have to learn that we’re the only ones that are going to take care of our body the way it needs to be taken care of and we have to be smart about it. Learn to rest. Learn to say no. Learn that ball is only life.. until it’s not.
Lastly and most importantly, I’ve learned where my career belongs on my priority list. I’ve learned to let basketball take a backseat to my relationship with God. I believe I got knocked down a few times these past few years to be able to see if from a different point of view. Maybe I needed to be humbled a bit. Sometimes we go through the motions of our faith and we don’t realize when exactly we placed God in the backseat. Many of us begin to idolize certain things in our life without realizing it. We get so caught up in our jobs, that promotion, school, running around trying to keep our busy lives together all while let Him fall through the cracks. Maybe we start valuing our Saturday nights out on the town drinking more than we do making it to church the next day. Maybe we fall into a spiral of doing those things that make us feel good but aren’t actually good for us. I think that in the beginning of my career, I let my relationship with Him take that back seat. Basketball became my idol for while; it was my dream. It was that think I wanted more than anything. I got a taste of the WNBA, success, accomplishment, money, and I was putting more energy into that dream than I was into my relationship with God. I was showing more love to that basketball/the plans I had for my life, than I was showing to the man who died for my sins. And sometimes He just has to put His hand on us and tell us to sit down. Like Kendrick Lamar says: “Be Humble… Sit Down.” Lol 😉

On my mission trip to the Ivory Coast last summer we spoke about how easy it is as athletes to begin idolizing our sport. Identifying a huge part of ourselves as “athletes” and when reality hits us and we have to hang up that jersey for a different uniform, it hits us hard. We have to begin learning that there’s more to us than just the sport we worked so hard at. We have to learn that our identity as an “athlete” is a much smaller part of who we are than we thought. I’ve learned that basketball isn’t WHO I am, but it is a big part of who I’ve become. Having that ball ripped from me time and time again was God helping me get my priorities straight. He doesn’t want to be 2^nd, 3^rd, or anything less. He wants to be #1, because unlike my time as an athlete or your time with that job, hobby, other thing you put so much into, He is everlasting.

So what I’ve personally come to realize, is that ball isn’t actually life… even though it’s a big part of it and what I love doing. I mean, it is my career …but at the end of the day, beginning of the day, and throughout the entire day… God is life. Family is Life. And the love that comes along with realizing that, is worth more than anything else in the world. So while I’m still pursuing my dream, my priorities and my perspective has changed dramatically from when I first started. I haven’t been able to get in the zone and come up with a solid blog for a while, but this is just what came to mind as I tried forcing myself to put a little something on paper. My relationship with God and this sport, the reprioritizing of what’s important to me, and the ability to see the bigger picture beyond what’s directly in front of me.

Faith… Family… Basketball… In that order… ❤

Because this is what happens when you’re not around for family vacations…

You get voted off the island and they take cute family photos without you… cool guys…

Sweden & a Little Perspective on the Price We Pay as Pro-Athletes Abroad…

I am officially in Sweden playing for the team called Telge, in Södertalje, Sweden. It’s pretty much a complete 180 from my situation in Lebanon. I have a cute little apartment with actual space to move around and a kitchen! Oh the little luxuries… The team’s gym has 6 courts, we have our own locker room, a sauna, and the weight room all in one place. We also get free gear, are Adidas sponsored, and receive massages/treatment the day after games. I real-life felt like I was an orphan they adopted from a 3^rd world country (though not literally) when I first got here. Beirut outside of my specific situation was good, but I was just SOO happy to be in this situation here in Sweden. They would apologize about stuff that was completely irrelevant to me. Such as, apologizing that my apartment wasn’t the absolute best. That they didn’t have my practice gear ready or have a water bottle for me. I looked at them like “You can seriously save your apologizes, I’m just happy to be here. “ haha

Anyone who has played overseas understands that it is nothing of the discipline, organization, or professionalism college was. In Poland I slept on an uncomfortable couch made into a bed the entire 4 months (my back killing me) and good medical treatment was hard to come by. Sometimes you don’t even have a trainer to treat injuries or tape your ankles before games. In Lebanon, we had no practice gear, no treatment, and no real access to a decent gym. It was in no way a professional, organized situation. If we wanted shots we could go to this sub-par gym with slippery, rubber floor, loose rims, and broken nets. We maybe, practiced 3x a week which consisted mostly of less than mediocre scrimmaging. If I was just playing recreationally this would be fine but at a professional level, when it’s your job, it’s not a good situation to rise in. Luckily, I’m no longer there.

I’ve played 2 games since being here. We’ve won both. First game, I got MVP with 23 points/13rbs the first game. Second game, I was 18 pts and 10 rbs. Our team has a lot of potential and so many fantastic shooters, but hasn’t had a real post player all season. So it’s a learning curve on building that chemistry and changing mindsets to utilize me. We will be fine though. Everyone is friendly and positive, which is a nice environment to be around and play the game I love in again. I’m blessed to be in the situation I am now, surrounded by good people and like I’ve said before it takes bad experiences to appreciate the good ones all that much more.

ON A SIDE NOTE..

I know so many people who wish they could play pro ball overseas. They see it as this amazing “dream” and like it’s a life of luxury. Yes, we get paid to see and experience the world. We get to do a lot of things other people could never dream of doing. We get to be fully immersed in the culture and get paid to play the sport so many people love. We get to delay the inevitable curse of growing up and “adulting”. But I want you to understand that that experience and lifestyle comes at a cost. We pay for it through our relationships with friends and family. We pay for it through a lot of time spent alone in a new country, where we are literally all we got. We pay for it through family time spent mostly FaceTiming our nieces/nephews so they don’t forget us while they grow up without us around. We pay for it on lonely nights abroad, becoming game-masters of Netflix wishing we had good, loving people to come home to every night. Wishing we had people physically present who truly, honestly cared about us and actually know us on that level. We pay for it through long-distance relationships that struggle to survive the 6-8 months in an entirely different time-zone. Through blood, sweat, tears, and occasionally physical injury, we pay. One way or another we pay for the decisions we make on the lifestyle we choose to live. It’s important to me to let you know, we pay. We take the good with the bad.

Sometimes the sacrifice is playing in a country with a terrible league where most players don’t share same level of basketball IQ as what we’re used to. Many players have to make the hard decision to either make more money playing in a bad league with bad basketball or play in a good league for less money. The lucky ones are able to make it in to a country with both, but those are the players who have been able to create a reputation for themselves while remaining healthy. We sacrifice our quality of life and sometimes our happiness in order to make a good amount of money in a short time. Or we accept the Goodwill version of the game we love and grind through all while knowing what quality basketball looks life and feels like. The game we fell in love with and chose as our career, watered down. Like nails on a chalkboard, because we know what “flow”, chemistry, discipline, and great clockwork basketball “IQ” looks like.

For women, we already make less than what men make and are put in worse situations than most male players. Men seem to have it better in the quality of what they receive, the way they are treated, and money they get for playing abroad. Though, I know plenty of guys who have seen some pretty terrible situations too, but women get the short end of the stick on this one 99% of the time.

We face a lifestyle that isn’t exactly the “norm”. It’s not the popular route for women because we’re supposed to find a partner, get married, get a good job, and start a family. Most of the women in this line of work don’t follow that or aren’t able to do it well and are forced to retire. Many men have wives and kids they leave back in the states while they play. Some are lucky enough to take them along, but it’s still a difficult life to live for everyone involved. My friends talk about how hard it is to not be with their kids while they’re gone. The sacrifice to play professional basketball abroad isn’t a light one, by any means.

Most people don’t realize what we sacrifice in order to follow our dreams. We risk our health, our relationships, our finances, our families, often times our sanity in order to keep clawing after and doing what we love. We sometimes float around during the summer months not knowing where our next job will be or when. People ask us over and over what’s next and us not having a good answer for them. Players get called up one night and told they have 2 days to pack up and be on the next plane out of town. It’s not a lifestyle for everyone. In a way, it’s a gypsy lifestyle. I write all of this, not to say our lifestyle is harder than others but to give you perspective. To show you that in every decision, a sacrifice is made. Not everything is as it seems. Not everyone is as they seem. Just something to chew on, from someone standing in a different pair of shoes.

For now, I’m just thankful I have been placed in a good situation, with decent basketball, and good people. I made a hard decision, to be in a place where I could be happy and where the quality of life is 100x better than the situation I was in before in Lebanon. Asking for my release wasn’t an easy thing for me to do. From the month spent in Puerto Rico due to the hurricanes, to my situation in Lebanon, I was tired of just simply “surviving”. I wanted to actually do more than exist and be able to begin enjoying it all again. Find my vibrant self, back again. So here I am… Ready to start exploring, start enjoying, and start living again… Simply enjoying where I’m at .. right .. now…

#StillBlessed 😉

“If you can’t sacrifice for your dream… then it’s not your dream.”

“In order to become the 1%, you must do what the other 99% wont.”

“Everyone wants success, until they see what it takes to get it.”

Take a Step Outside…

Since I’ve gone MIA for a bit I figured I should throw an update out there to catch people up on my adventures. I am currently living in Beirut, Lebanon. From what I’m told, the night life here is great and the food is spectacular. So far I’ve managed to make my daily home base a café right down the road called “HOOK” where I’ve made friends with the owner and her family. The area I’m living in is very much a residential community where people park wherever they can find an empty few feet of space and I’m sure a few dozen people get hit by cars on the daily because the lack of sidewalks. It’s definitely a different world but the people are very nice. A few blocks down the way is a more ritzy area where there’s a great social scene. A few low key bars and nice restaurants to eat out at, mostly by myself. Haha One thing I’ve learned traveling, living in a foreign country, and trying to get the most out of every place I visit is to not be afraid to go out and do things alone. Not everyone is as eager to fully immerse themselves in it and some people are just here to play ball and get paid. I find that a bit sad, but to each their own. Not everyone gets this opportunity to get paid to experience the world and not everyone will get to live somewhere completely out of their comfort zone like we do. The other day I went out and had a glass of wine and devoured an entire pizza while onlookers watched me enjoy my table for one and be the fatty my momma raised me to be. Corn fed and Iowa Bred. I won’t lie though, I was initially nervous because I had never been to the Middle East and because of all the tension over here. But Beirut isn’t at all like I imagined and hasn’t in any way made me feel uncomfortable living here. Even though my tall, Amazonian, ginger self gets stared down literally everywhere I go. I kind of stand out just a wee bit.

I wouldn’t say my living accommodations are spectacular at the moment but I’m just accepting where I am and working with what I got. On a positive note, I’ve only been electrocuted about 3 times since being here. One while trying to use the washer and another while trying to use my stovetop. Lebanon is already trying to kill me. Lol But overall, I’m not high maintenance and I’ve become very good at adapting to my surroundings. We don’t have a car so our teammates pick up the other Americans and I for practice daily. Which also means I do a lot of walking if I want to go anywhere somewhat close to me. It’s okay I could use the extra exercise and work through all my untapped reserves from not playing consistently for a while. We’ve played two games so far and lost both of them. One of them was to the top team in Lebanon but the other should’ve been easily won. I however wasn’t making anything for the life of me besides 3’s the first game. Makes sense right? Lol The further out you get the more accurate your shot becomes? The second game I played much better but not well enough to pull out a W. It can only go up from here though after every game my body feels like it got hit by a truck. I definitely do not bounce back as well as I could in my college days of taking charges and running around with an endless motor of energy. I’ve been living in compression tights, a knee brace on for walking around, and ice bags strapped to me since day 1 of practice. Haha

My sleep schedule has yet to become regular. It doesn’t help that the other Americans go to sleep at like 3 or 4 AM every night. The first week I was sleeping mostly during the day and awake for most the night. The last few days I’ve had a sort of insomnia and averaged about 3 hours of sleep per night. One would think I would be super productive with all this time but you’d be wrong. Still adjusting. I’m getting better though. I spend my days doing schoolwork at a coffee shop and nights practicing or working out. But boy did I miss this, getting paid to play basketball and have the freedom to explore the world. I get to dedicate my time to learning and investing in myself in the areas I value the most. What more can a girl ask for? J

For now, I’m just enjoying where I’m at and learning from where I’ve been. New year, New you. Not the same girl I started off as at the beginning of this long basketball journey but boy have I learned a lot. If you ever get the chance, step outside your comfort zone. Hang with people you don’t normally hang with. Experience a new restaurant, coffee shop, fun activity, event, or bar. Learn a different language or travel to a different country. What you know, where you’re from, and who you are, is just a speck of what this world is made up of. The world is bigger than you; so take a risk, take a chance, and step outside… I promise you won’t regret it.

Dare To Do More Than Dream…

Anyone who knows me knows that my journey hasn’t been the easiest, nor has it been the hardest anyone’s ever experienced. I’ve been through the ringer in the pursuit of my dreams and still pending…

The funny thing about DREAMS is that a lot of times we are looking at those who are already living their dream, but we don’t see the journey it took them to get there. We don’t see the tears, the blood, the sweat, and often times the unfair, broken moments crashing down around them. We don’t feel the lonely nights choosing not to do what everyone else does in order to stay on track. We don’t feel the pain, the disappointment, the frustration, the heartache that made the fact that they actually made it happen that much more impressive. We don’t always get to see, read about, or understand the DNA of other’s successes.

For many, a dream is just that… a DREAM. Something unattainable. Something you go to sleep for, so you can fantasize about. Waking in the morning; crashing back to reality. Back to that mundane job you hate with coworkers who don’t want to be there either. Back to that weekly routine of waiting for the weekend. That 9-5 grind on repeat. Something that only those lucky individuals you read about or watch on TV are blessed to be living. Something other people do or live. Like they were “dropped” into that role or won the lottery for it. Praying for that miracle life to be sprung on you.

In my opinion, too many people are just “dreaming” and not “doing”.

Ask yourself: What makes you happy? What motivates you? What kind of change do you want to make in this world? What kind of impact do you want to make in your short lifespan? How do you really want to live it? What kind of work are you willing to put in to get it?

Dreams are meant to be chased. Dreams are meant to be clawed after. Dreams are meant to take pieces, take chunks out of you along the way. Dreams take work! It’s your dream, so why shouldn’t it take parts of you and your time to fuel, to create it?! They say nothing good ever came easy. I believe it.

The pursuit of my dream has broken me physically and mentally. It has tried me over and over again. Most recently, it has put me through not one, but TWO Category 5 hurricanes playing in Puerto Rico. It has left me lonely, staring at the ceiling of a gym at 3 AM wondering what I was even doing. Asking myself, “What am I thinking for daring to dream something so BIG, that at times feels unreachable?” It’s created a lifestyle where having a real meaningful relationship with anyone worthwhile is nearly impossible. Again, staring at the ceiling in a foreign country, where I’m all I have, wondering what’s wrong with me? Taking me to the darkest parts of myself with every knee operation on my resume. It’s left me bawling my eyes out alone in my cold Poland apartment, knee swollen in unbearable pain and heartache knowing another surgery awaited me after a 28+ hour travel day back home. It’s driven me to push my family and my friends away at times so I could bask alone in the crappiness of it all, knowing I’m the only one who understood the heartache I felt. The only one who could see the details unseen or read the language of the pain inside my soul. It’s taken pieces of me inside and out and at times, without meaning to, from those around me as well..

I’m nowhere close to achieving my dream but I do know I’m closer than I would be sitting on my ass dreaming of reaching a destination without the ambition to get in the car and drive. Basketball isn’t my life but it has given me a platform and the confidence to share my struggles with others. It’s given me the ability to help others and motivate young minds. In a way, I guess I’m already living my dream.

In my silence, I found my voice…

In my breaking, I found my making…

In losing myself, I found myself…

In my journey, I found my dream…

The struggle is a part of the dream process. Your steps are the keys pressed down to make the notes, creating the music to the masterpiece of your life.

The question is: How much of that masterpiece are you willing to write? How much are you willing to fail? How much are you willing to fall apart, only to put barely put yourself back together again and again and again?

Dare to DREAM! Dare to claw after them and make them a reality! It’s not going to be easy. It’s not going to be fast. It’s not going to be instant gratification. You have to climb to get to the top of that mountain. Ever notice that books are written about and movies are made about those people who faced adversity and overcame it? Those are the stories we like to hear. Those are the people who have the best stories and those same people were dreamers once too. Don’t settle to be less of the person you’re capable of being! Whether you would love to open a business, succeed as an athlete, graduate from college, or even just to live your life you want! Make those steps. Get up and start walking! Start working! Just simply START! Wake up from that fantasy every damn day and start living into your dream, until it starts to become your reality. You’re capable of so much more! You’re capable of more than just simply sitting around dreaming.

Start “Doing”…

Know Your Worth…

My last post was about those lonely feelings and insecurities you feel sometimes late in the night hours. About how you may not be doing anything wrong and probably are doing more right than you know. Here’s my take in my short 26 years, it’s hard out here for a pimp. Lol So today I’m starting with something that’s important to know before you start dating — your own worth

I speak to the women out there, but men can warp it to them as well. It’s important to know your value! It’s important to know that you are quality and act like it! I like to think quality people attract other quality people and quality should only except quality right? I’m not going to say I have high standards because in reality they aren’t “high”. They just “ARE”. They’re simply standards and I refuse to settle for someone that doesn’t meet them. Not saying those that don’t meet them are any sort of lesser person. They just don’t vibrate at the same frequency as me and their goals/ambitions aren’t in line with mine. Hopefully, one day I’ll find that person who is on the same wavelength as me that it just feels easy and right. Two people running at the same pace, in the same direction, at the same time. (Hypothetically, because there’s been one too many times these past few years where running hasn’t gone well for me. We could settle for walking at the same speed I suppose. Haha) I’d say I want someone to sweep me off my feet and make me weak in the knees but I’ll take a hard pass on the weak knees haha

I’m not saying I haven’t met quality guys but most of them were still “Boys” in a world where I’m looking and waiting for a “Man”. I’m not trying to just simply BE in a relationship. I’m not trying to shove someone into a mold that doesn’t fit. Like shoving a puzzle piece into the wrong puzzle, in the end the picture doesn’t turn out right. In my previous blog, I wrote about shoving someone else in that lonely tomb with you, the hollow “I love you’s “ echoing off the walls, attempting to fill the silence. I think it hurts more to be emotionally wrestling with someone who isn’t on that same level as you. Who isn’t on the same page of emotions or feelings. Ask yourself, why do we feel the need to fill the silence? Why do we feel rushed to latch onto someone else? Why do some people jump from relationship to relationship like a monkey not able to let go of one branch before they have another? Are we that insecure with ourselves? That afraid of ourselves to sit there alone at night with nobody on the line? That scared to sit across from our own insecurities and see them for what they are? Begging for love in a world where true love is truly hard to come by.

For all you single people out there, don’t SETTLE for someone who doesn’t fuel you in the same way you fuel them, because eventually one of you is bound to run out of gas. I aim this at the ladies because I relate to you the most, OBVIOUSLY. Be a lady! Act like a lady and eventually you will find a MAN that’s willing to and who knows how to treat a lady. Know your worth and in the meantime, constantly be working to increase your worth and value. That is what is in your control. Don’t let your happiness depend completely on the relationship of the person you ALLOW to stand beside you. Let your happiness come from within and let it attract someone who wants to be a part of that happiness and can actually ADD to it! People treat you how you ALLOW them to treat you. Don’t let someone else dictate your day. Don’t let someone take you for granted. Don’t let someone treat you like an “option” when you damn well deserve to be a “CHOICE”! Don’t let them determine your mood or take your energy without giving anything in return. Your energy is valuable. Give it to those people who deserve it because you deserve the world! You deserve to be happy! You deserve to be fought for! You deserve to find that one person who will be your best friend thick or thin, until the end. And you deserve someone who gives you just as much love as you put out into the world.

Ladies, you shouldn’t have to beg for attention and you shouldn’t have to beg for a man’s time. The right man will MAKE time for you. The right someone will give you the attention you need to feel loved and feel appreciated. A man will carve time out to spend with you because he WANTS to, not because you’ve mentioned it a million times. Understand, people make time for what’s important to them! If they aren’t making time for you, then honestly, you probably barely make the list and you shouldn’t have to feel the sadness, the insecurities, the disappointment of that. You’re not a dog. You’re not a starving animal on a constant search for love. You can find enough love to fill you all around you, if you just choose to see it. The right people love you and will make sure you feel it. You don’t need to question it or go through the struggle of siphoning love out of an unwilling source.

I was talking with my friend the other day about this whole dating process/relationship process and how when us girls feel lonely or in need of love/affection/attention we search for it. So the question got brought up: Why do we allow/find ourselves begging for love from people who are only willing to give us scraps of their love? Like starving animals, we stick around, when we don’t need to be “starving” for anything!

The thing we often forget is that God is always there offering us all of his love. If we choose to act like we’re starving for love or attention, it’s by CHOICE. We don’t need to find ourselves in unfulfilling relationships or going after guys who aren’t willing to give us more than just scraps of their attention or love. I’m not buying into that. I’m willing to wait for someone who wants to get to know me and is willing to put as much energy and love into me, as I have to give him. It’s a balancing act. Sometimes we find ourselves putting more energy into someone than they are putting into you. Feeding someone without getting fed back and we find ourselves starving, drained of whatever energy, vitality, happiness we once had. A good relationship should be nourishing to the mind, the heart, and the soul. They should inspire you, as well as you to inspire them, to be better and challenge you to push your own limits daily. Being in love is a challenge but finding love really shouldn’t be. It’s wherever you choose to see it. Stop looking beside you for someone to fill that love void and look up at all the people in front of you already willingly reaching out, offering whatever love they have to give. You are loved with or without someone filling that space. You are enough. You are quality, so act like it.

Don’t settle for less than what you deserve because you deserve the world! Don’t be afraid to walk in that world alone until the right one makes you feel at home.

Top 25 Struggles of Being in Puerto Rico Right Now…

Top 25 struggles of Living in Puerto Rico right now:

Waking up to a massive cockroach on your face in the middle of the night.
Not being able to sleep because you’re living in Satan’s Lair burning up. Waking up drenched and having to shower in the middle of the night to cool off.
Having to choose between wearing clothes and dying of heat or sleeping in your swim suit and having the bugs eat you alive.
Having to take 4 showers a day.
Not remembering what it felt like to wear clothes and not be sweaty.
Cuddling up with frozen gallons of water or shoving frozen bottles down your pants/bra while you sleep because of the heat.
Finding maggots in the sponges you use to wash dishes. …Finding them after you found them on your shirt while reading a book.
Walking miles to get to a large hill so you can hike it for cell service. Standing with your arm extended the whole time asking “Can you hear me now?”
Driving 30 minutes in to downtown San Juan to sit outside a hotel for free internet. Getting kicked out of a few hotel parking lots because it’s “private property” and apparently you can’t sit on the curb of the Hyatt Hotel to use their internet.
Going to the only open restaurant downtown to eat a real meal but having to ask to be seated by an outlet so you could plug all your devices in….. because you’re super classy like that.
Sitting in a line miles long for 4 hours to get fuel and then not being able to get it.
Sitting in line to get into a grocery store to buy food.
Eating rice and beans like it’s your job. Carbs going straight to the booty. As if I wasn’t thick enough already.
Flipping the light switch every time you walk into a room only to be reminded power doesn’t exist in this troubled land.
The sound of a generator sputtering to death. Your heart and soul dropping with it.
Having to sleep in the same bed as your roomie because you can only use one A/C machine to save fuel for the generator.
Staring at the ceiling once the generators dies, feeling the ungodly heat rushing in.
Your neighbor telling you he’s getting fuel for the generator but not getting it.
Exercising in the ungodly heat with no reassurance of cooling down after.
Being a ginger and frying this Puerto Rican sun.
Trying to keep up with my MBA program while being cut off from the entire outside world and internet.
Only being able to check your phone one time a day. Either from the top of the hill, if it’s not “Wi-Fi Day”, or from sitting on the curb outside a hotel stealing internet.
My mom emailing the local Iowa TV station to be interviewed about my current situation. #DoingTheMost Haha
Legs looking diseased because of all the bug bites you have. Lying awake scratching them at night.
Trying to find a flight out of Puerto Rico when your flight keeps getting cancelled. Attempting to make it anywhere but here.

Top 8 things that are a faint memory to us:

What it feels like to Netflix and Chill.
The feeling of A/C on our face.
Wearing clothes and not sweating through them in 5 minutes.
The actual use of a light switch and this thing called “Electricity.”
The use of that thing called a cell phone and that it once connected you to the outside world. Completely useless in this troubled land.
Clothes that actually feel clean.
Actually feeling clean.
Chipotle

Puerto Rico in a Nutshell…

I’ll of course will have more blogs after this but let’s lead with one that’s a little heavier. For anyone who doesn’t know, I am currently stuck in Puerto Rico after two Category 5 Hurricanes hit us here. I came here to play professional basketball but ended up playing a month long game of survivor with my teammate instead. I don’t want to sit here and complain about our situation but people need to know the condition that Puerto Rico is in. They need to know the conditions that everyone is stuck in, while the government drags its feet to aid us.

Most people here are in worse conditions than what my teammate and I are living in. In our small community, we are blessed to still have water but most of the families outside our community aren’t so lucky. Like us, they also don’t have power or cell service. People park on bridges along the express way just trying to find signal to call or send a basic text message. My teammate and I climb a large hill, a few miles away, in order to get just basic text or if we’re lucky a phone call. We’re out there on top of that hill, holding our phones up like Mufasa in the Lion King attempting to communicate with our families back home.

Also like us, others are struggling to get fuel for their cars and generators. Though, I highly doubt most of them actually have generators. We haven’t even been able to run ours since before Maria hit. The people whose guest house we are living in take care of it, but the lines to get fuel are a nightmare. So every night is a night spent sleeping in what I vividly imagine Satan’s Lair to feel like. Sprawled out in the bare necessities trying to keep cool. Waking up drenched and taking a shower in the middle of the night to cool off. I sometimes take 4 showers a day. One when I wake up, one if we went to the beach to swim, one before bed, and one in the middle of the night. I don’t know how I’d be handling this if we had actually lost our water. I’d probably be asking Maria why she didn’t take me with her. Lol

People who prepared well, filled barrels up with water to drink and use but that only goes so far. We charge our electronics at our neighbors who have their generators running or when we drive to downtown San Juan for internet (30 min. drive). We call those days our “Wi-Fi days” where we sit outside the Sheraton Hotel with a million other people stealing Wi-Fi to communicate with loved ones. We don’t get to go every day because we have to be smart with our fuel. People wait around ALL DAY at gas stations in order to get some. These gas stations don’t even have gas but everyone is waiting for a truck to arrive. The first day, we waited in a line for 4 hours and didn’t even end up getting any. We got lucky the next day and only had to wait an hour and half but it’s an endless fight to find it. The lines go on for miles, all the way up exit ramps to the Expressways. Same goes for the lines for water, ice, ATM machines, banks, or to simply get into grocery stores. Shelves sit empty in the stores. People are in a frenzy. They can’t communicate with their families on the island or back in the states. The best comparison I can make is to tell you to imagine the movie,” The Book of Eli” but WAY less dramatic/crazy, and you have our situation here. Lol

I haven’t even touched on the airport issue yet. There’s not enough fuel to keep the generators working at the airport so flights are being cancelled left and right. Thousands of people are camped outside with no water, money (no ATM’s working), food, or way to get off the island. Everyone is trying to leave the island but there’s no way to get out. Cruise ships have just started rolling in to help but that’s merely a dent in the overall issue. My flight has already been cancelled once. My teammate and I are just praying we make it off the island this weekend with our current scheduled flights. People here need help and the government is dragging its feet to do it. The power will be out in Puerto Rico for the next few months because of the way it’s set up and how badly Maria hit. Our basketball season is of course cancelled. Our neighbors and us joke about how we’re basically in a war zone. We’re surviving on the bare essentials right now and we’re not even suffering as much as the majority of Puerto Rico with mudslides, families to care for, or flooding worse than us.

On top of all of that, trees and signs are still down on all the roads. There’s curfew every night at 6pm. The stoplights don’t work so police officers are working all day in the heat directing traffic at busy intersections. The roads are chaotic and filled with reckless drivers. Everyone is just trying to get by and have enough food/water to make it through the week. People are out there with families to take care of and feed; not knowing when or where their next paycheck will come from. Elderly folks are dying in nursing homes because there’s no power. People aren’t able to get the prescriptions they need. They suffering from little things we take for granted every day and may not even think about until we’re actually experiencing it. Until you are actually the one suffering from it. Or until a hurricane comes barreling through, I guess.

I’m just skimming the surface of the struggles going on. People need to know and I just want to shine some light on the situation and what we’re actually dealing with. I wouldn’t say my teammate and I are suffering, but we are definitely a few of the thousands here just trying to get by and struggling to find a way off the island. The people of Puerto Rico need your help and whatever you can do, from wherever you are, would help tremendously! Thanks!

Also, thank you everyone for the love, support, and prayers sent my way this entire past month and as my teammate and I continue to try to make it home! We appreciate them all! Xo